Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
