I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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