So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
