Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
