I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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