if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A+ Viking dick
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
