We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
