11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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