NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come share oat with me in your robe
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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