"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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