I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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