ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
