Dual....:-)
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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