just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
time to smoke my breakfast
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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