I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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