The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
