she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
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