I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
