What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
