They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
