i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
