once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
