buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
