A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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