How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
