ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
false alarm, still single
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
