billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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