i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
