Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You are a genius and a whore.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
