You're completely useless in the revolution.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
