I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
