hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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