I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
