let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
