I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
