covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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