Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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