Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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