Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That's intense
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
