hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
