mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
