why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
