you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
