He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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