I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
