I wish I only lived at night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
God, I missed his penis.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
