He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
