I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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