apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
