so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
