I think my vagina is haunted
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sober January is a disaster.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
