i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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