It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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