You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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