Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
