My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
