At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
