you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
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