i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
