ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
