I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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