id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
it hurts more in the daytime
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
