I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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