Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
