Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
