yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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