Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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