Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
