Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
