He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
