If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize